Satisfaction Friday

Another Friday is upon us and it feels wonderful! Outside my window the birds are gliding by, wind gently stroking the tips of the tree tops--it's calming, soothing...therapeutic...

My head is clear--no longer disarrayed with thoughts of academic deadlines, things to do before when.

Tonight I'm hanging out with some of my closest friends...gonna shoot the breeze with my old San Jose State folks and chit chatter over some beers. You gotta enjoy those times with those closest to you. You can't be too busy to hang out and I'm glad that I've always made time for "my people."

I'll be ending my Friday evening with my boy...catch up on this week's happenings, share some thoughts, enjoy each other's presence.

The simple things in life. I'm loving it!

I Gave Up Facebook for Lent

I gave up Facebook for lent, hence the multiple blog articles in such a short amount of time. Along with Facebook, Myspace, and Friendster, they are in sleep mode until Easter.

I waste so much of my time on these social networking websites, especially Facebook. My sister reminds me to play with her online pet or she tells me she bought a new piece of furniture for my pet, Kopi Kopi. I'll go check out friend's newly posted photos from their drunken weekend, new status entries about so and so stubbing their toe, how much they hate their job, and how they got dumped over the weekend. I like commenting on walls, checking out my hot friend with his shirt off, watching funny videos, posting new photos from an event the past weekend, and of course, IMing.

It's already a quarter past 11PM and I'm still working on a homework assignment due tomorrow! I thought, what the heck, just rid of Facebook for the next 40 days and nights. I did finish my homework early this past weekend and I had more free time this evening to work on other assignments and download a whole bunch of old school slow jams off of iTunes...."you are...my everything...you are...my everything..." That song is by Surface by the way, if you don't recognize the lyrics.

Good night!


~Lorace

Why Am I Doing This to Myself

I don't know why I even do this to myself.

I just finished a bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats cereal to wake myself up from my drooping eyes, suffering from 3 hours of studying. Okay, I wasn't studying the whole 3 hours. I did chat a bit, shot off a couple emails, did some laundry. But anyway, I came here to rant about why the hell am I here on a Saturday night at home when I should be out galavanting with the girls!

I'm taking three classes this quarter and I can't believe finals are the week after next week. Next quarter, my final quarter, I'm taking 4 classes...geez. WHY?

Sometimes I ask myself "Why did I go back to school?" I'm missing out on all the fun stuff I could be doing, hanging out with my buddies, partying, eating out! Yeah, whatever, Lorace. I was bored out of my mind during my company shutdown over the holidays. Yup. I went back to school willingly. It's for my own good to advance academically and for my career. I guess I always knew that.

I was chatting with Jeanette online this evening and we were talking about our approach to our 30's. In our 20's, we were still trying to figure things out. Now that I'm 29, I can say that while I was around 25, I thought I had everything figured out. I had a plan--finish my BS in Mechanical Engineering, get a good engineering job, get married, buy a house, start a family. I don't like deviating from my plans, so I tried my best to stay on that path, even when the other party wasn't pulling their weight. I don't know why I allowed that, but lesson learned, right?

Anyway, back to my plan. Jeanette was telling me that even back then I knew what I wanted and I went for it--finished my undergrad, found a job right away in Utah, found a good job at Lockheed Martin. I had to stop and think about it. I've always just seen it just as a sequence of events and not much about "knowing what I wanted."

I was months away from graduation and the only job offer I got was from ATK in Utah. I thought what a loser I am. I couldn't even find a job locally, directly correlated to a crappy GPA or lack of internship experience. So, I went off to Utah, and found a sea of cheap housing; more bang for your buck! My parents helped me invest in a house half the price it would have cost here in the Bay Area. There was no sense in renting there if I had a good down payment.

I started working on the solid rocket boosters for the Space Shuttle, assigned to the Final Assembly Work Center working on exit cone, Nozzle Severence System. I was bored out of my mind in Utah. I didn't have too many friends. I flew back home every month. I started taking classes for my MS, did a lot of landscaping and gardening, shoveling snow.

I'd say about a year later, I started looking for a job back home. During the fourth of July weekend while I was home visiting, I applied for an ordnance position with Lockheed Martin in Sunnyvale, just 20 minutes away from my parents house that definitely beats the one hour commute from my Utah house to ATK. The job requisition was very similar to what I was doing at ATK. I thought it was too good to be true!

A month later while I was at a Pyrotechnic Conference in Maryland, I received an email from Lockheed Martin's recruiting center saying they are interested in flying me out for an interview. Coincidently, my suitemate worked for the same group I was going to interview for. How weird.

So, I got the job and had to pack up and leave Utah. I found great renters to live in the Utah house and I had no problems with them while they were living there. I moved back home. I went back to my old halau and started dancing again, went back to school. Looking back, the only thing that didn't stay it's course was the guy part. I guess I was so use to everything else going so smoothly that the whole guy thing would eventully follow through.

I'm doing fine though. Dating here and there, just letting things flow. Life is nice. I have great parents, and a great set of friends, my support network. I'm learning everyday...=)


~Lorace

I'm On a Mission

Usually when I have difficulty sleeping I have something on my mind. Right now, it's 11 minutes past 5AM and I'd say I woke up around 3:30AM from a really nice slumber. Last night, I came home around 10:30PM from Kat's place studying and went straight to bed. It was a good evening despite the cramming for midterms. I hung out with Kat and Auggie and updated them about my nice weekend.

When I woke up at 3:30 this morning, it felt more like I slept past my alarm clock. I guess I must have slept pretty damn good. I couldn't fall back to sleep, so I started to lay out my agenda and "strategizing" for the rest of the week at work and other activities.

I feel like, I'm on a mission! I'm going to attack this continuous improvement effort at work and get it done well! My manager gave me some really good advice on how to pursue it, so now it's a matter of follow through.

Aggressiveness is the theme. No room to be shy here.


~Lorace

Wish You Can See Yourself on Replay?

I just finished taking videos of myself Tahitian dancing. When I replayed the videos, I'm like "Whoa, do I really dance like that?" Amongst all my blubber flapping around, I watched my fa'arapu (those round fast circle movements) as it jerked around. Ugh! I took more videos, watched it again; maybe the angle was funny. Ah! Same thing. I decided to watch the videos on my laptop, maybe I can see it better? Nope. I still sucked. Geez, do I need work! Good thing I watched myself because now I know I need to practice more frequently than those two hours on Saturday and Sunday.

Imagine doing a replay of yourself at a party enjoying yourself with friends. Perhaps enjoying yourself too much. How about watching a video of yourself in discussion with coworkers at work. Haha! Who's the bitch now?

Think about the person you are and want to be and how you look to other people. Is the person you want to be and the person that people see you as the same or completely different? Occasionally, ping that idea off of a close friend that will be honest with you. Maybe she can provide you with some good feedback that you can reflect on.

I'm not saying that you should be concerned about what people think of you. First start with #1, which is you and assess who you are as a person and what kind of person you want to be. As long as you are happy with the person you are looking at in the mirror every morning, then it's all good.

I see myself as a compassionate person, thoughtful of others, and receptive, hardworking and loyal. I am also impatient, loud, with attitude. I've toned it down over the years and I'm learning to relax and breathe during stressful periods.

But just ask yourself, "Who am I? Am I that person I want to be?" If not, then do something to bring that person back.


~ Lorace

Recovering From a Case of "The Mondays." Back to Work After the Holidays

You having a case of the Mondays? How about coming down with the post-holiday, going back to work blues? I've been infected too and I'm recovering in my nice warm bed under my down blanket, watching old Beyonce and Destiny's Child music videos.

Last night, I went to bed at 10PM. I laid there for about an hour before I finally fell asleep. It's really hard going to sleep so early after so many days of sleeping around 2AM and waking up nearly to lunch time. Dayum, did that feel good ((sigh)).

This morning, my alarm went off at 4:35AM. Snoozed it. I finally got up, showered, got dressed, and prettied my face. I wrapped my new $5 pea green scarf from the Filipino market and jumped into my car to head to work.

Cold. And that was the theme for the day, even in the office. My winter coat and scarf stayed on the whole day except for when I had to tinkle (don't want my scarf falling in the toilet).

What a way to start off a Monday, after the holidays, getting in to work at 6AM, freezing my ass off in a perfectly good office building used to house some of the best engineers in the Bay Area. Their own HVAC system don't even work!

It was hard trying to write a weekly input on activities from 3 weeks ago, in the cold, on a Monday after the holidays, with puke pea green fuzz collecting all over my dress pants and on to the floor, wishing I was snuggling in my cozy warm bed, watching free, melodramatic Korean movies on mysoju.com, tightly clutching my snot ridden tissues. ((sigh))

Okay, back to reality...


~ Lorace

Happy New Year's from WNT!

Can you believe it? Another year has gone by! I'd have to say that 2008 was very busy, stressful, filled with both laughter and tears. Here's my "executive summary" of this year's happenings...

Happy 2008!

January, I rang in the new year with Kat and Israel, celebrating at The Loft in downtown San Jose. We were so indecisive that time, not settling on NYE plans, so we ended up there since there was no cover.

New Year's Day, I drove up to Watsonville to visit my friend Aya and her family at their Japanese cucumber farm and had some really good home cooked Japanese goodies...love them beans, Aya!

Partying, Travel, and Food!

February had a girls night out at Wild 94.9 Women's Only Event and learned how to bet on horses in Vegas.

Of course we checked out all the good eye candy at the Women's Only thing, but then realized the frustration with all these little 21 year olds pushing and shoving to get closer to the stage just to try to win some free stuff. GHETTO! That's why I don't go clubbing much.

In Vegas, Randall, Leong and I ate lots at the Bellagio and the Wynn. Lost some pounds walking around with these two. Randall and I tried out that roller coaster at New York, New York. Leong chickened out, but he did teach us how to bet on horses. No luck for me there. I also lost a lot of sleep listening to their snoring ensemble.

In March, me and the girls joined Jeanette's friends at Baker's Beach for a picnic. This beach is notorious for naked sun bathers and we glimpsed one guy in his birthday suit...((shiver)), but we did have fun playing with the sand and enjoying the sun and the waves.

April, we visited our old roomie, Enid in LA! We did a lot of touristy stuff, acting like picture whores taking tons of silly photos of ourselves. We caught a broadway show, Wicked! It was really good, I even cried at some points. We also spent some time at Enid's museum, The Getty Villa and we chowed down on some good Korean BBQ!

Modeling with Poe 'Ori 'Ori Pareo

In April, I had my first experience modeling with a professional photographer for my friend's pareo business, Poe 'Ori 'Ori Pareo, along with a couple of my hula sisters. This event really got me into the wonders of makeup, and celebrating being a woman.

Ringing in My Last Year in my 20's!

In June, I celebrated my 29th birthday with horse back riding at Garrod Farms in Saratoga. Every year for my birthday, I try to do something different and active. Last year was rock climbing and this year it was great being in the outdoors going horse back riding for the first time! The evening was a different story.

Sweat and Tears

July, I competed in my first big Tahitian dancing solo and group competition at San Jose Tahiti Fete with my dance troupe, Kawailehua. Solos took place at the Double Tree Hotel near the airport. I couldn't believe that I had been practicing all year for just this two minute solo. It went well. I didn't make it to finals, but it was a great experience being up there and freestyle dancing. I met some really cool people while waiting in line for my category.

Group competition took place at the Event Center at SJSU. With Kawailehua, it was an amazing journey leading up to this event from August 2007 with conditioning and tryouts, and sacrificing all my Sundays for these five hour practices perfecting our basic dance movements, memorizing the routine and positioning, learning how to dance from the heart and not purely focusing on the technical dance movements...it's still a work in progress. Kawailehua won 3rd place in O'tea, a first time for us!

Amongst all the commotion preparing for a whole year for this event, two days before competition, my family received word from the Philippines that my grandmother passed away. She came here to the states when I was little to take care of us. She was a tough lady, suffering from alzheimers in her last years.

It was a challenge mentally to focus on preparations for competition and packing for the trip back to the Philippines. In between work and last minute practices, the whole family coordinated getting the tickets setup, shopping, and filling up the balikbayan boxes with pasalubong (gifts) for the relatives.

We scheduled a late night flight out of SFO for the PI for the same day as group competition (10PM). My group was scheduled to perform at 2PM, so I thought that would be ample time to run home and head off to the airport. We told the relatives back home to extend the viewing and wait for us to arrive for the funeral.

The group competition line up was behind schedule an excrutiating six hours! 2PM came and went, along with 3, 4, 5, 6, 7PM! I kept my cool during those hours, but during that time, I was not a happy camper and it was very difficult to smile during the last few run throughs of the routine. The July heat didn't help either. I prayed to my grandma that I'd make the flight to see her and say good-bye.

We made it to the competition dance floor at 8PM on the dot. The whole routine was one hour. I was in a zone. Just for this one hour I would focus on the group and our performance. In between routines I called my mom and told her that it's almost done. She was screaming at me, "You better leave now or you're going to miss the funeral!!!" I was screaming at her, "I can't leave now! Just stop it, get Nene on the phone!" I calmed down and came to terms with missing the flight and told my sister that it's okay if I missed the funeral because I was able to see grandma a couple years ago before she passed.

Thank you, Lord for The Girls (Jeanette, Aya, Harms, Stacers). They were the only ones who came to support me at this important event and they are the ones that rushed my butt to SFO! After leaving the competition dance floor and waving good-bye to the judges, I rushed to gather my costumes, ran through downtown San Jose in my coconut bra with the girls to jump in Jeanette's car and head off to the airport. Jeanette made it to SFO in a record 30 minutes while I was in the back seat taking my cocos off and changing into plain clothes (not sure how the cocos would have looked in the security scanner).

My sister's boyfriend, Amir, was waiting for me at the gate with my passport and boarding pass. I still can't believe how my family checked me in earlier without me being present. I rushed through security and greeted my mom and sister with a deep breath and a smile, "I'm finally here." Our flight was delayed one hour anyway, wooo.

We were in the Philippines for 9 days, so we tried to make a vacation out of it too.

Some Relaxation, Work, and School

August was relaxing times. Kawailehua was already making preparations for next year's competition. I spoke to my Kumu about not doing group competition. I was already burnt out and I wanted to focus on finishing up my Master's degree and continue doing solo competitions. Work was always busy with reviews and travel. I finally got my promotion! And I competed at Kawailehua's annual Manahere solo dancing competition. I didn't place, but my dancing is improving.

Now tonight, I'm going to celebrate the forthcoming year with good friends and music. It's been an amazing year spending time with you all. Thank you! And let's look forward to what 2009 has in store for us!

~Lorace

Thanksgiving

I have everything to be thankful for!

I have a stable job and I'm doing good at it! With the economy nowadays, I am very thankful for that. I'm working hard, getting paid, I can pay my bills, put gas in my car, and enjoy life comfortably. I cannot imagine being in a position to not have a job and to add to the trouble, foreclose on a home. The economy will recover from this mess, but not soon enough for those unfortunate.

I'm blessed with great friends! Like coffee, laughter keeps me going throughout the day and my friends always provide that. Last night, I was studying with two good friends and we always end up laughing so hard about something so silly.

I am always thankful for my family! It feels secure living so close to family. Their presence makes me whole. For the first time in years, we're having more family come over tomorrow for Thanksgiving lunch.

I am thankful for my good health. Aside from eating better, falling in love with Tahitian dancing keeps me physically and mentally healthy. Exuding your joy and happiness through dance and sharing it to those around you is a wonderful feeling.

Thank you everyone and HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

What Not Thought Cannot Sleep!

It's almost 3:30AM and I cannot sleep! I've been laying awake for the past two hours, so I thought maybe some blogging therapy would do the trick. Maybe I need a treat.

Okay, I'm pathetic. Maybe I have a lot on my mind about a new potential guy, my solo dancing competition coming up in the next three weeks, assignments due, my projects at work, the fact that I haven't found enough time to go to the gym, trying to find time to tutor my nephew. If only counting sheep would work. Baaa.

I slept early last night. I was working on my probability homework while tucked into my nice warm bed. I didn't get enough sleep the night before. Yes, it does add up and I have to get up early again for my morning class.

Maybe it's the fact that our Fractures professor will be returning midterm exams back today. I think I did well. Mohr's circle...>>shiver<<

Think zen...think vacation....Europe...care free...sleeping in 'til noon...pastries....yum....>>Zzzz...<<

Hey AT&T, YOU SUCK!

I was playing with my coworker's new 16 GB iPhone today. I looked at my new LG Shine and I felt so...inadequate. My mind was convinced. After hula class today, I was getting my iPhone!

After hula class, I ran home to get my receipt, charger, and original packaging and drove down to the AT&T dealer to return the phone. It was really quick. The sales associate, Jesus, called customer care, let them know what I was planning to do, took the phone back no problem (except for the manual I forgot to return. They kindly asked me to bring it in tomorrow, which I'll do). And they had me out of there within 20 minutes. Sweet! Gave me an hour and a half to drive down to Oakridge Mall Apple Store, which after five phone calls, luckily had the 8 GB iPhone in stock.

I had plenty of time. The Apple lady greeted me and I asked her if she had the 8 GB iPhone available. She said no at first, but I mentioned that I called in earlier and the guy on the phone told me it was in stock. She kindly checked the back no problem.

This really cool blue eyed guy helped me with setting up my new phone. I told him what I did about returning my old phone about an hour ago and how Jesus already set me up and called customer care. The Apple guy called up Jesus to confirm everything then called customer care and explained to Stephanie, who sounded like a man, what I wanted to do.

Stephanie that sounded like a man, put me on hold for about four minutes when he/she said it would take two, and got back on the phone telling me the Apple guy can't activate me since an AT&T manager needs to override the system to allow me to upgrade to the iPhone so I can buy it at the $199 prices instead of the $399 price.

I thought maybe I can go to the AT&T store, have the manager do her thing, then go back to the Apple store so the Apple guy can activate me. Stephanie that sounds like a man, said that I couldn't do that. It has to be done in one transaction and how Apple is really touchy when it comes to their products and the only way for me to get the phone at the discounted price is to go to the corporate store dealer. I was explaining to him...uh, her, that the reason why I went to the Apple store is because they were the only ones that had it, but yup, she/she said the only way was to go straight to the wizard.

Okay, I'm a patient girl. I asked Stephanie if I could use my old sim card in one of my old phones. She said it would work fine. Thanks Stephanie that sounds like a dude! I tried using my phone and the sim card is unregistered. I can't make and receive any phones calls!

Sucks to your asthmar AT&T! YOU SUCK!

Quest to iPhone enlightenment continues....

I love My Garmin Nuvi 260!

Today, I was driving home from work in Sunnyvale and had to make a stop over at Costco to get a birthday cake. I was pushing through traffic on 237, on my way to my usual Costco on Hostetter Road in San Jose. I'd have to continue on 237 going East becoming Calaveras, then merge onto 680 South and exit Hostetter Road. Long trek, yeah? Not with my Garmin Nuvi!

I know I shouldn't have been doing this, but as I was driving I grabbed Garmin out of the glove box, switched it on, and typed in a search for nearby Costcos in my current area. It found one off of Lawrence Expressway approximately 2.8 miles away. Sweet! I clicked on the address, then clicked "GO!" snapped Garmin in place on my new sandbag stand and away I went!

It pin pointed where ever I was on 237 and gave me turn-by-turn directions with audio on where to go, assisted with a nice map that highlighted my route in hot pink.

I took Garmin with me on travel a few weeks ago in Indiana. It took me from the Indianapolis Airport to Bloomington, to Crane, and back to Indianapolis with no problems. It did take a few minutes to coordinate with the satellites to find my position, but it sure saved me time from getting lost!

I've had Garmin for about three months now (my parents bought it as a birthday present). I don't use it every week. I'd say I've used it a total of 8 to 10 times to get me to and from unfamiliar places. There were two occasions when Garmin took forever to locate the satellites. One was from my house in Milpitas and I'm not exactly sure why that happened. The other time I was in an area in San Jose coming from Garrod Farms and I was trying to get to University Chicken in Santa Clara and it never communicated with the satellites.

Come to think of it, I do remember another occasion when I was trying to find the shortest route from work to my gym, Bally Total Fitness, in San Jose on Capitol Expressway. I did a search for Bally Total Fitness and it couldn't find it! It did find some in SoCal thought...haha!

Okay, so it's not perfect and I guess I have to give Garmin some more time to prove itself to me. It did save my ass in Indiana and it did help me save gas today taking me to a Costco nearby.

Sentimental Moments, Nostalgia

My friend emailed me at work today and was telling me that we Filipinos are very sentimental people; feelings of tenderness, love, nostalgia. She attached a link to a popular love song she liked.

It's amazing how a melody to a song can instantaneously change your mood, especially those songs that bring you back to, hopefully good, memories. Sometimes during those drives from work commuting home, you hear a song you haven't heard in such a while. The outside traffic noise slowly fades and somehow you're protected in this warm bubble, hearing only that one song, memories becoming more vivid that you can even smell the scents during that moment.

To me in a sense, it's therapeutic. It's sad to think I don't have "that" anymore, but I'm so looking forward to the moments when I will have "that" again. It's an amazing feeling. It's the most incredible feeling to live in those moments.

Now moving from the sappy love stuff, how about those songs that make you go "Heaay!" You know what I'm talking about! You're a 29 year old getting your groove on in a club after a one year hiatus when the deejay mixes the next song to "One, two, three, into the four, Snoop Doggy Dog and David T is at the door..." And all the old school folks start waving their hands in the air (waving like they just don't care) and dippin' to the rhythm of the bass.

Kind of brings you back to high school, huh? I'm feeling it more now that my high school reunion is coming up (one in which I'm debating on going to).

Twilight

It was like a breath of fresh air.

At that moment, the only thing that ever mattered was you and him. All sounds becoming silent, eyes only speaking, hearts racing.

Twilight reminded me how love use to be. It took me back to when love was so tender and innocent, much different from how it has evolved over the years for me.

Each page drew me in more and more. The noise from the coffee shop I was sitting in deadened and the words on the page became more vivid. My heart fluttered with Bella when Edward touched her face. I glanced at my watch to find that an hour already past. I was just getting to the good part!

I first heard about Stephenie Meyer's Twilight books on a CNN online newscast I was watching during my lunch hour at work. I was really skeptical when they mentioned that this was a teenage romance book with vampire themes. I was thinking how cheesy that was! Only teenagers would love that, but when they mentioned that even 20 and 30 year olds were reading this, I became curious.

Amazon.com customers gave the Twilight books excellent reviews. I got sucked in. I drove down to my local Borders Bookstore and grabbed me a paperback copy.

I didn't stop reading...until the last page of the last book of the series Breaking Dawn. Damn were those books good. Why didn't I hear about them sooner! Twilight, the first book of the series, came out in 2005! How could I have missed it?!

It was honestly refreshing to read these books. I felt like a young teen again (I still do, but I won't admit it at times). I rushed home from work to read them and found myself continuing late into the night, having to wake up early the next day. I couldn't put Bella and Edward away until I knew that they would be okay.

Now that the series is over, I didn't know what to do with myself...until now of course.

Stephenie, I can't wait to see your next project! Thank you so much for bringing Bella and Edward to us!

I Needed My Best Friend

Today, I needed my best friend.

As I climbed down the stairs from my 3rd floor office, across the quad, and through the turnstile to the employee parking lot, I realized that I didn’t have my best friend. I didn’t have my best friend there to sit with me, heart and ears open, ready for me to unload weeks upon weeks of stress from school, work, and dancing. It’s been building up. My daily dump of the days quandaries have festered in a stagnant pool of rain gathered from the passing storms with brief moments of sunshine to evaporate some of the water away, just to fill up again as another storm arrives unexpectedly.

I have my outlets. Some outlets are better than others. I can go up to a friend, stand there quietly and he can already read what’s on my mind without me even saying anything. This even applies virtually made famous by my “Coach” with me simply saying “hi” in an instant message and from that he already knows something is wrong. Others, I’ll begin unloading my thoughts, but they don’t really have anything to say, but give a little notion of acknowledgement.

More and more now, I catch myself at work staring in the direction of the trees swaying in the wind. Most of the time I’m unaware of what’s present on the other side of the window. I’m too encapsulated in my thoughts, running scenarios in my head of how I should attack the rest of the day's workload without getting myself into trouble. Sometimes I wonder how I look to other people as they pass to go the copying machine. I know the scowling look on my face is most likely uninviting.

You probably miss that girl who always used to smile and giggle all the time. I know. I miss her too.

Excerpt Into My Past: My WNT's Back Then About Now

I was looking over some of my old writings and I came across an essay I wrote during my undergrad for ENGR100W:

~The first milestone in my academic and professional timeline is at the receipt of my mechanical engineering degree with a prominent career following. In addition, I see a Master’s in Business Administration after a few years of working in the industry, thus allowing me to rise in the ranks of a prestigious company. After I am satisfied with the income I have accumulated, along with smart investments that will set me for early retirement, I will end my academic career with a teaching degree at the high school level. Like my parents, I have always wanted to teach the young to become the great minds of our future. I believe that to be one of the world’s greatest investments.~

Wow! I'm pretty ambitious there with "rising in the ranks of a prestigious company." My view on that now is, why do I want to rise in the ranks? At work, I'm seeing what all those big boys and girls do and I'm not sure if I even want to touch the bureaucracy, the hand waving, the "make me look good" manipulation. I would be passionate to work in those ranks only if I felt like I was working toward a cause I truly believe in.

For the teaching degree, every now and then, I still cater the thought of doing that. Several weeks ago, I visited two elementary school classes in Milpitas and talked to them about engineering, my career so far, and the cool stuff that I've worked on. I had the kids do a team activity building rockets. They were great! I hope I left an impression on them to do well in school, to learn from failures (because they will happen), and to seek out the many opportunities that are available to them.

~While my academic and career goals are already set, on the other hand, my personal timeline is clouded by uncertainty. Ultimately, I would like to start my own family before the age of 30. With my husband, who ever he will be, I will be the best mother of five children. The only mark on this timeline I see clearly is the responsibility of returning the gratitude that my parents have given to me. They are the crutches to supporting me in reaching my goals and for that, if all goes well with my professional timeline, is to permanently retire them from many years of blue-collar work by paying off all their debts such as their house, so that they can finally relax and enjoy life.~

Dayum, 30! I wanted to start having kids before 30? My how time flies. I'll be 29 in three weeks! AND, I wanted five kids?! I don't know where I got that five from, but I think I'll just settle for three knowing how expensive kids can get.

I still wish that I could retire my parents. My dad has already retired, but my mom at 57 is still working. She says she's tired of working. It would be nice that she could just stay at home, relax, exercise, and cook and watch The Filipino Channel all day.

Wow, good thing not a lot of my goals have changed, but some of them were just too unrealistic!

Another Single Blog (Part II)

Last night, I put on my heels and raisin glaze lip gloss and hung out with my PASEr girls. Oh man, and you know when you get a bunch of girls together, we be talking and gossiping the night away!

The four of us that are single were exchanging juicy stories, strategizing what we should do with our crushes, updating each other on who broke up with who, who's looking and who's not. Being the women scientists and engineers that we are, we postulated the question, "Why does it seem like girls are actively looking and trying to attract the opposite sex while men our age aren't even looking or trying?" My answer to that was "40-Year-Old Virgin." Hey man, if guys don't step up, they're going to end up like that (example below)!

Let's face it, and this goes for both men and women, don't tell me you're too busy to date. If a guy or girl asks you to go out to coffee, then you go do it. Let's get organized people! You can hold off on that work assignment for a measely 30 minutes to an hour. That measley 30 minutes can lead to a second date, to a third date, and yeah, other things, if you can catch my drift. You think that bailing out on that opportunity to do overtime at work is going to get you that raise or promotion? Haha, yeah, dream on! Even if you did, what are you going to do with all that extra money anyway? Spend it on videos games when you could be having breakfast the morning after with your girl/boyfriend?

If you want to ask someone to go out for a drink or chit chat around the bend, but you're too scared, you know what, get your balls out of your purse and just do it. The worse thing they can say is no, right? Big deal! Still scared, bring a wingman or wingwoman with you, but please, dump the wingers after a couple "hanging out sessions." You don't want to give the impression that the crush is just a friend or a "nice guy" (NG). NG, the kiss of death, or how Wong Fu Productions would put it, it's like the scarlet letter.

Step it up people! And for those who are, keep your head up and continue on. Someone's sure to bite!

Live What You Wear (Part I)

Right now, I'm sitting with my seven grain bread peanut butter sandwich with the closet open in front of me. My wardrobe colors--black, dark blue, some white, browns, tan, more black. Hideous! No wonder I don't have a boyfriend.

A few days ago, after snoozing the alarm my usual 3 times, I rolled out of bed using my cell phone as a light to navigate to the lamp. After switching the light on, I quickly scanned my work garb. If I were to try to catch that guy's attention, most of these outfits I wouldn't even wear. To the left I saw a few tops that my mom brought back from the Philippines. I grabbed this deep red top from Kamiseta, a famous brand back home. The first time I tried this on about a year and a half ago, I couldn't even close the buttons together, but it fit perfectly!

At work that day, I sported my black pants and my fitted deep red collard blouse with a cute sash that tied in the back. I felt warm, cute, happy, like I had every reason to smile about! My coworkers bid me a few compliments on it too. One even called me the lady in red.

It was a nice spring day outside, so I took a walk over to another building to take care of some business. The rays of the sun felt soothing after this long awaited winter I couldn't help but smile. I bet those guys riding those yellow bikes on the sidewalk were wondering what the hell I had to smile about.

So wear whatever will make you happy! I'm not only talking about what's in your closet, but other things such as wearing a beautiful smile. I cannot stress enought how far a smile will go to enlighten someone's day. A kind smile to a friend, loved one, or a stranger is a gift so simple, yet priceless.

Another Single Blog

My ass was glued to the chair, my eyes glassing over in front of the computer, and my pointer finger sore from clicking all these freaken cells on the Excel spreadsheet I've been working on all morning. I grabbed a dollar out of my purse and made my way to the soda machine for a nice boost of Diet Mountain Dew.

On my way down the hall, I caught my buddy walking my direction. "Wanna take a walk?" he said. Sure, it's a beautiful day outside. It's a shame being inside, chained to your desk when there's such a beautiful world out there, although it can be difficult to imagine if you're in one of those buildings with no windows. Sucks to be you. I have a nice view of the intersection in front of my building and watching people get tickets for jaywalking and cars honking at the guy stopped at the light for not turning right on a red. Idiots.

Me and my buddy made our way down the escalator. Me being attentive to protocol and common courtesy, I made a passageway standing behind my friend to allow other people to treckle down the escalator passed me.

It was a bit chilly coming out of the building entrance. We were in the massive shadow of the building blocking the rays of the sun. As we turned the corner, the warmth of the sun energized us for the walk. We made chit chat about his family, movies, Britney Spears. No room for my opinion about her here in my blog. To our right, we passed by these grey storage bins for those yellow bikes that everyone's having accidents on.

We continued on. I told him that I owe him lunch. He paid the last time we had lunch together. I keep tabs well when it comes to money. He said I shouldn't worry about it and that I shouldn't see it as I owe him, but see it rather simply as having lunch. He said I'm a genuine person. I try.

He asked about the ex, if there was any contact. Nope. I sure hope he doesn't. And if he does, then I'll have to get my friends' support to remind me not to go back. I told him the next guy I date has to be a good boy, stable, responsible. A family type of guy basically. I told him I'm 28. I'm in no rush.

He then told me a story about people who wait a long time to get married and marry people with "baggage." His friend and coworker married a divorcé with a child. He asked her why she married a man in that situation and she told him "All the good ones are taken."

I forget how we got into this conversation, but at first I was thinking he was trying to tell me something. I patted myself on the chest "I'm 28, I'm still young!"

Haha, I wonder how much longer I'll be claiming how young I am...haha...hum.

I eventually ended my journey back to my desk, popped open the Diet Mountain Dew, sipped it, trigger finger strategically placed on the mouse, ass conformed back into the chair, eyes in wonderment.

Ramiele, That Was OFF DA HOOK!

Hooold up ladies and gentlemen! Ramiele Malubay was off da hook! Ramiele sang "You Don't Have to Say You Love me." She started off slow and mysterious and built up the voice, added an accent with the head toss over the shoulder, and she blew the judges away!

Man, earlier in the show Simon was being really brutal with the usual no mercy attitude. I was holding my breath when it got to Simon's comments. He rolled over like a little dog in submission showing his belly admitting to Ramiele that at first he wasn't impressed, but this evening, she out sang all the girls!

Girlfriend looked good too. Loved the hair and make-up, loved the shoes!

Did you catch that one bitchy girl in the background with the queen bee look like she wanted to destroy Ramiele? Haha, no way man, Ramiele blew 'em away! Vote, vote, vote! We got to see more of her!

Looking to the Future, With a Smile

I found a message in my Facebook recently from an old high school friend I haven't seen for almost ten years. The picture on his profile was taken at his recent wedding. Beautiful! I'm very happy for him and his new wife.

At 28 years old, several of my friends are already married, in long term relationships, or like me, enjoying life as a singleton. I'm enjoying this time to myself and I'm going to take advantage of that time until I'm ready again to share it with another person.

Sometimes when my thoughts are not encapsulated in work, school, or dancing, I try to imagine what more blessings will come my way. Will I be getting that condo I've been waiting for? Will I get that promotion? Will I ever stop going to school? But I still like to imagine who I'm going to raise my kids with. Are my kids going to look more like me or my husband? I try to imagine the look on my parents' faces when my kids come running in the house I grew up in and jump up to kiss and greet their grandparents.

I smile. I smile and look forward to the future and what blessings it will bring. I've been so blessed thus far and right now, I'm going to enjoy and party as much as possible until then!

People who I've come across with who have kids tell me to enjoy the time I have now as much as possible. Enjoy it before getting married and having kids because there won't be much "me" time. It's all about raising the family well. Imagine that? Smelly diapers, crying kids, husband not listening to you. I don't really like to include those thoughts in my future forecast, but I welcome that too because I know it's not going to be easy.

So until then, live your life to the fullest and take care of "you!" Go out and have fun, try new things, and meet and learn from new people. Don't fear or fathom over what's going to happen later on. It'll come. Just enjoy and welcome the blessings that will come to you.