Excerpt Into My Past: My WNT's Back Then About Now

I was looking over some of my old writings and I came across an essay I wrote during my undergrad for ENGR100W:

~The first milestone in my academic and professional timeline is at the receipt of my mechanical engineering degree with a prominent career following. In addition, I see a Master’s in Business Administration after a few years of working in the industry, thus allowing me to rise in the ranks of a prestigious company. After I am satisfied with the income I have accumulated, along with smart investments that will set me for early retirement, I will end my academic career with a teaching degree at the high school level. Like my parents, I have always wanted to teach the young to become the great minds of our future. I believe that to be one of the world’s greatest investments.~

Wow! I'm pretty ambitious there with "rising in the ranks of a prestigious company." My view on that now is, why do I want to rise in the ranks? At work, I'm seeing what all those big boys and girls do and I'm not sure if I even want to touch the bureaucracy, the hand waving, the "make me look good" manipulation. I would be passionate to work in those ranks only if I felt like I was working toward a cause I truly believe in.

For the teaching degree, every now and then, I still cater the thought of doing that. Several weeks ago, I visited two elementary school classes in Milpitas and talked to them about engineering, my career so far, and the cool stuff that I've worked on. I had the kids do a team activity building rockets. They were great! I hope I left an impression on them to do well in school, to learn from failures (because they will happen), and to seek out the many opportunities that are available to them.

~While my academic and career goals are already set, on the other hand, my personal timeline is clouded by uncertainty. Ultimately, I would like to start my own family before the age of 30. With my husband, who ever he will be, I will be the best mother of five children. The only mark on this timeline I see clearly is the responsibility of returning the gratitude that my parents have given to me. They are the crutches to supporting me in reaching my goals and for that, if all goes well with my professional timeline, is to permanently retire them from many years of blue-collar work by paying off all their debts such as their house, so that they can finally relax and enjoy life.~

Dayum, 30! I wanted to start having kids before 30? My how time flies. I'll be 29 in three weeks! AND, I wanted five kids?! I don't know where I got that five from, but I think I'll just settle for three knowing how expensive kids can get.

I still wish that I could retire my parents. My dad has already retired, but my mom at 57 is still working. She says she's tired of working. It would be nice that she could just stay at home, relax, exercise, and cook and watch The Filipino Channel all day.

Wow, good thing not a lot of my goals have changed, but some of them were just too unrealistic!

Looking to the Future, With a Smile

I found a message in my Facebook recently from an old high school friend I haven't seen for almost ten years. The picture on his profile was taken at his recent wedding. Beautiful! I'm very happy for him and his new wife.

At 28 years old, several of my friends are already married, in long term relationships, or like me, enjoying life as a singleton. I'm enjoying this time to myself and I'm going to take advantage of that time until I'm ready again to share it with another person.

Sometimes when my thoughts are not encapsulated in work, school, or dancing, I try to imagine what more blessings will come my way. Will I be getting that condo I've been waiting for? Will I get that promotion? Will I ever stop going to school? But I still like to imagine who I'm going to raise my kids with. Are my kids going to look more like me or my husband? I try to imagine the look on my parents' faces when my kids come running in the house I grew up in and jump up to kiss and greet their grandparents.

I smile. I smile and look forward to the future and what blessings it will bring. I've been so blessed thus far and right now, I'm going to enjoy and party as much as possible until then!

People who I've come across with who have kids tell me to enjoy the time I have now as much as possible. Enjoy it before getting married and having kids because there won't be much "me" time. It's all about raising the family well. Imagine that? Smelly diapers, crying kids, husband not listening to you. I don't really like to include those thoughts in my future forecast, but I welcome that too because I know it's not going to be easy.

So until then, live your life to the fullest and take care of "you!" Go out and have fun, try new things, and meet and learn from new people. Don't fear or fathom over what's going to happen later on. It'll come. Just enjoy and welcome the blessings that will come to you.